That Woman in the Office

Everyone knows That Woman. She's overweight, she dresses like she's in the 1990s in rural West Virginia, no one knows quite what she does, and she drives a scooter around the office. Every office has her, right? I felt a great need to write about That Woman because I just passed by her office and through her cracked door (adorned with an uplifting comic and a sickeningly sweet picture of a dog and a kitten getting along way too well) I see her, head down on the desk, sleeping. I don't think this would be an acceptable practice in any other office except for mine. What really irks me is that she is bold enough to keep her door cracked, daring you to catch her, taunting you with her ability to nap under the fluorescent lights and on a desk full of plaques with quirky quotes and bobble head cats. Do I despise her or, dare I say, admire her? I would also like to point out that my organization recently made some pretty drastic layoffs in the past month. How did she make this cut? Better question, what were these other people doing that did not make the cut? I get it, with budget cuts and what not there is not a lot of work going around the office. I've watched every episode of Downton Abbey (even the unreleased second season). Trust me. I get it. But sleeping? SLEEPING? And getting PAID? I come in at 10:00 AM and no one notices. There are better places to sleep. At least, for Pete's sake, close the door so I don't have to be reminded that when I am laid off, you will still be here, scootering into your office with your giant translucent frame 1983 glasses and blatantly sleeping on your desk contributing nothing more to this company than your snide comments about the "slutty" attire of the office females (true story). I wore an over-sized sweater and giant scarf today, thank you very much. I'm sorry I don't own elastic waisted denim. I'll get on that right after I finish these 2 episodes of 30 Rock, catch up on the latest posts on Facebook and watch 3 more versions of Sh*t People Say. Sleeping and getting paid... terrible.